Stop trying to make me feel small

Vanity Sizing: some shops have been sneakily upping the dimensions of their garments while keeping the sizes the same

For years now, the retailers of women's clothing have been sneakily upping the dimensions of their garments while keeping the sizes the same. This policy, known as "vanity sizing", is intended to appeal to the self-deluding element among their customers, who will supposedly thrill to the fact that they miraculously drop a size every time they step into the shop.

The real effect, however, is like one of those maddening friends who sings out: "Hey, you've lost weight!" as an automatic greeting to all and sundry, whether or not you are smiling back from above three newly acquired chins. You know when it isn't true, and after a while, it begins to get on your nerves.
Now, a survey for Which? has revealed that nine out of 10 women find the unpredictability caused by vanity sizing annoying; as a result, we tend to restrict our clothes shopping to a little clutch of tried and trusted shops.
The fluctuation is even more infuriating, of course, now that so many people shop for clothes online. There are few more painful retail decisions than trying to guess one's size in the knowledge that it will inevitably be wrong, and that a surly and complicated trip to the post office bearing a large package of "returns" will ensue. The shops need to end this foolishness, and standardise their sizes. I'd even be happy to be labelled a little larger, as long as I could stop being so cross.